Rambling Drabbles
by Shirai Hisaishi
Summary: random short narratives in Miku's perspective. -Completed-
1. Best Friend: 1

**1**

His tears were the last thing I wanted to see. I'd seen all of him, all of his expressions - all attitudes he could have. Everything, I had seen them. Everything but his tears. That's why when he told me those things, I couldn't bring myself to say it.

He sat by my side one morning, our talk began in silence. Smitten by him, I kept myself composed so he wouldn't notice that he takes my breath away. When he sent a text message last night about meeting me by morning, I was so excited that I was up until three in the morning. The words he told me kept me occupied all night, the letters that formed the words " _I will tell you something important tomorrow"_ made my heart ran wild in anticipation. My hopes were high - so high they could've flown, just don't fall. However when tomorrow came, his trembling hoarse voice, his ceaseless tears - I didn't expect all of those to follow.

"I love her. I have never loved anyone like that, and I know that I am too young to conclude, but I know this feeling. I recognize this throb in my chest - it's love. I want you to remember my words, she is my first and last. I will never love anyone again if it isn't her."

I couldn't bring myself to tell it, huh? 'Why are you always looking at her? I'm...I'm here - am I not enough?' But I guess, I really don't have to say this at all. As you continue your drama, my tears fall too - not because of empathy, neither sympathy, but because I felt so pathetic.

"Miku, at the end of the day. You're the only one left for me. Thanks for being my best friend and guardian angel."


	2. Best Friend: 2

**2**

Rin got everything a girl wished to have. Fair skin, blue eyes and golden hair - she is a perfect doll-like girl. Known for being friendly and for being a beauty, no wonder why Len was acting like a lovesick puppy.

There used to be _something_ between them, a feeling I harbored for Len in secrecy. Though the only difference is that, mine is unsaid and unrequited; theirs is a mutual affection. He was always happy with her, and so was she, even if they got into fights from time to time. Rin was everything for him, he told me that many times when their argument wasn't settled as quick as it began. And all I could do is to listen and cheer him up, and reconcile them.

What will I not do to see Len happy? Even if his happiness can be defined by her name alone? Even if it pains me like how I smile with dry cracking lips - if I will see Len's smiles at the end of this route, I will lead him to her.

Rin got everything a girl wished to have. She even got the only boy I loved, I envy her at sometimes. But nothing was left for me to do.

She is beautiful, she is smart, she is kind - she is his world - and I don't have anything against that. So I will smile to cheer the two of them, fix them back together when they're about to tear apart, even if it wounds my lips and the pain stays like for forever.


	3. Best Friend: 3

**3**

'I love you,' he told me once.

The fool I was, let my heart skip a beat with the words that do not return the kind of love I bestow.

'Thanks for being a supercalifragilisticexpialidocious best friend! I love you! Your idea worked! She loved the stuffed animal I gave! Thank you! Thank you!'

I shouldn't have expected for something other than that, right? I just laughed at him and said, 'no problem! Anytime!'

Yeah, anytime. Whenever you need me, I will be right here. If you're broken I will pick you up even if you're shattered in thousand shreds. If in the end, I will see you happy with her, it is fine. Any time, I will do that.

 _No_ _problem_? _Anytime_? I am such a bad liar but you don't know that. Every time we are together, it's all about __ _her_. What to expect, she is your everything! It kills me but I have to endure the sharp pain coming from my chest, nonetheless hearing you talk about her means we will go home together at dusk.

And when I think of that idea, it wasn't a bad thing at all. Even if it crushes my heart.

'I love you,' hearing that from you with your next words unheard, it feels like you love me the way you love her.

Rin, you're lucky.


	4. Best Friend: 4

**4**

If I cut my hair short and dye it blond, will Len look at my direction? He probably won't. Such pretty face that only Rin owns captivated him. As I stare at the ugly monster from the mirror, I wonder if I will find someone who will love me like how Len loves Rin. But reality hits hard - I don't have that pretty face, so what?

My long teal locks made me look abnormal. Where on earth could have an aquamarine hair originated? Funny. That might be the reason why nobody looks at me with affection. I am an alien. People's sharp stares grazed at me with prejudices that I couldn't take at all.

Len is one of those who stared at me like I'm an extinct species. Inspite of that fact, he, alone, dared to approach me and befriended me - proving the prejudices wrong. I don't know what to say, I'm so happy when that he walked to my direction.

Eventually, we became best friends.

And until today, that status remain.

Best friends, _ad infinitum._


	5. Poem: Hidden Message

**A/N:** when asked to write a poem confessing love, (my) otp was my inspiration. This is Miku's POV, and poor me, why is she so broken hearted? I submitted this to my class.

 _Hidden Message_

To speak to thee is to becall to myself;

Words are unspoken if they'd whisper love.

Where feelings are written and on papers are left,

Shall I pick one and disembowel my heart?

Heart is something archaic until I meet thee;

Those strands of hair so victorious with the wind,

With eyes mimicking my heart's opposite.

Love is swirling like a mint within.

I have a word or two for you who caught my heart-

'Though I never had the courage to say it out loud.

Let the wind grumble it to your ears when it blows,

Because every time we talk, I always say, _"bye, I shall go."_

If the same words were heard from me faithfully,

A pained smile spreading on my face so with no pleasure,

I shall say it again and again, as long as it mean

 _"Hi, do you know that I love thee?"_


	6. Heartbreak Girl

**Heartbreak Girl**

Miku's POV.

Luka is a crazy lass. Her beauty is totally mesmerizing and it's a shame that her personality is far from being attractive as her face. She isn't the mad woman I used to know when we're so much younger, Len and I knew that well since the three of us are childhood friends.

Those freaking natural curls of her gorgeous pink-dyed hair could make guys swoon, her barbie body set aside. She was beyond the beauty of a nymph, she's more of a siren. She lulled many men and made them the dumbest fools of the century. Luka never appreciated them aside from their gifts (especially the donuts) because she was head over heels with someone who couldn't love her back, or unaware of her existence.

A gorgeous young man from our elementary class, I think. Len told me he was known with the name Kamui Gakupo. It wasn't a nice business to stalk this guy for Luka, but oh well, he was somewhat a celebrity now. Luka, forget this man. You're no more than a fan to him, I swear.

Luka, Len and I talked about her mischievous treatment to her admirers, and interrogated her why she was taking them for granted. Luka wasn't serious in answering that question as well.

"Eh, I like none of them." She said.

"Of course, you only like the donuts and gifts and the Starbucks coffee." I spat. "Aren't you too cruel?"

Luka huffed. Len chuckled.

"Yeah, you can relate with her cruelty, right?"

I stared at Len, dumbfounded. I just remembered that we _have_ our own history. We were juniors when Len confessed his liking to me - I rejected him, that's all. However, that has nothing to do with Luka playing with her guys.

"What the hell, Len. You have a girlfriend, already. Get over with it." The pinkette laughed with Len's remark and this time, awkwardness suffocated me.


	7. Message: -draft-

**Message: - draft -**

 _"I_ miss our late night talks. Those times when you talk to me like I am the only person who can know all these things about you, and you're the only one I can tell these things . . . I miss those moments. I miss your messages and random soppy texts, those lengthy messages that I still read even if I'm sleepy. I miss our relationship. Friendship is a relationship, right?

On times like these, I wonder to whom do you confide? I always wait for you to send me a text first. You have no idea how much I want to hear your stories, your experiences and everything . . . well, actually, I only wanted to ask how are you. I wonder if you will reply. I . . . we're still friends, right? _"_

- _message saved as draft-_

"Miku?"

Miku looked around and saw her friend Haku staring at her. Through that look, Miku knew what would she ask.

"Are you fine?"

Yes, I'm fine - Miku can tell that and lie forever.

"Yes. I'm fine, Haku." Miku stood to dust off her skirt, eyes caught a glimpse of blond somewhere. "Just musing. Shall we go?"

Things will never be the same.


	8. Unsaid

**Unsaid**

You're walking ahead of me.

Always and forever.

We sat next to each other in this train, countless times. Have you noticed? Yes, I guess so. You always had your earphones on. You'd spend the travel time by taking a nap. That's cute, you know? I only knew few people who had a cute face when they're asleep.

You're so out of my reach.

Wait! Your pen fell - oh, it's a spare? You don't need it? Okay. Can I keep it? Really? Thanks. - why are these words the one coming out of my mouth. I should be asking your name, telling mine. Ah, _gawd,_ I'm a failure.

You're not interested to listen at all, right?

The seat next to me was occupied by a girl. She was fretful as you stood before her. I watched the two of you from the corner of my eyes. _Gawd,_ I want to puke. You must be dating? That's obvious, I'm acting dumb.

Hey, my name is Miku.

You smiled. I wanted to cry. _Gawd,_ this would be the last time to see you. You finally smiled.

Ah, have a good day?

You chuckled as you took your pen from me. You said you forgot to bring one, right? Yeah. It would be the last time seeing that blue eyes of yours. I nodded to you before stepping out of the train. I would never meet a good looking blond anymore. Unless he had the same face of yours.

I never knew your name. I told you mine. You're indifferent after all. Playing nice.

I can only sigh. New town, new place.


	9. Why

**Why**

Funny it is, our meeting is unexpected. Always unexpected.

You were running downstairs, I was on my way up, then your keys hit my head. I was wondering **why** on Earth would keys fly. But when you hurried to me, apologizing, putting your hands on my forehead - my question changed.

 **Why** are you so . . . handsome?

Then we began going out. The keys that hit my head they were for your car, okay? And house, too. We dated. I became your girlfriend. So cliché. People began asking you **why** were you dating a girl with a weird hair? I was confused when you said that there was no particular reason.

But I never asked **why** is that so.

That's **why** . . . when ended everything, I never asked **why.**


	10. Beastly

**Beastly**

There should be nothing left. When something is taken away, it shouldn't come back. Things taken away couldn't come back, especially when they were owned by someone else. But like a cat that would find its way back home, the remnants long forgotten were here, glued together, wearing its cracks like tribal tattoos that signified triumphs against countless battles.

Skin crinkled like sand dunes, he stood on the doorway _as_ an old man asking for forgiveness. Time passed by him, but not my heart. He aged a lot and I remained the same; his heart now weary and deprived of love, came knocking on my door with faint rap. Gone was the image I used to know, the golden crown and gallant physique that enamored most girls back in time. It was now gray and almost white, those loose tresses fringed his face.

The old person— weak and helpless— standing before me this very moment, used to be the personification of his own heart when he was still youthful. The words I spoke to him casted him away, _'begone, we can't be together'_ , and he believed that I didn't love him at all. If I could prolong his life so we would live together, I would. But the elixir of life was a myth for mortals; it was no more than a clear water that would _only_ quench a man's thirst. And if ever I give him one, he would remain the same, just like what happened to us some decades ago. It happened long ago when our clocks moved in unison, when its tocks were one and the same.

There should be nothing left. Knowing that it would be a painful goodbye, we decided to let go of each other's heart. I could hold his heart for million years, but he would hold mine shorter than a second. And I was a coward, yes, I admit, but watching someone dear to you to rot and fade — I'd rather not. And though death would never befallen to us— _beasts_ , witnessing his death was like dying, too.

But he was here, back after threefold decades, friable and wobbly, ready to fall on his knees if not because of the crane he was holding. The blue eyes that captivated me into vows of an eternal love, were now dull and tired. It stared at me with recognition, it somehow looked relieved, but I was restless as it bore deeper to my being.

It would hurt his restless heart—seeing me would hurt his heart. There should be nothing left after the clock ticked so much time, enough time for him to forget a cursed beast like me. But why was he here? It would kill him, like how his appearance killed me. Our gap was a great distance, like two stars that would never meet in the horizon, with him moving ahead. He would dash to his end, but I would remain here, standing in this point of timeline and never moving away from this place. My time stopped, but I would live forever while his clock's pause would mean his end.

"You never changed," when he spoke, tears fell from my eyes. The doors I shut for so long, I opened them — like my heart that I stopped from loving. I thought there were no more traces of the love I harbored for him, but it was a lie. As I laid my eyes on him again, all the things I pushed away came back, and it included him. My hands reached out to him, our skins touched. I held him carefully, afraid to hurt his weak body.

My skin that never aged, my appearance that never changed — these were all reminders that our love would not stand the test of time, because he was a mortal and I was not. "I do," I whispered, placing a kiss on his wrinkled hand. "And I still love you."

Would he accept my love, now that his end was near? I could see it, he knew I can—but why? Why would he show up again? He only smiled, hands fumbling to reach my face and wipe my tears away. He did the same once upon a time, before we found out about my real identity as an immortal demigod.

"I still love you, every second every day." He said, suddenly gripping my arms when he felt like he would fall down. But his days would end, and his time would stop just like any mortal, and we knew that his love would end. "And I would love you as long as you are alive."

Was it a lie intended to comfort my undying heart? If it was, I would affirm to it. I would replay these words overand over, until the temples were no more than ruins, as long as my hair remained teal — I would believe it. Even if at the endless stretch of time, I would forgot his voice, I would listen to these words again and again.

I cried against his frail hands, bathing his skin with the tears I kept to myself for so long. It would all end — his time and his life; but I would remain. His great grandchildren would forget him, but I would not; and as long as I live, I would never forget his name, his face, his love. He would be the only to whom I promised my heart; he would be the only Len in my life.

 _A/N: it was supposed to be a drabble, but I was carried away. I almost made it a multi-chap~no, ignore this note. Dedicated to_ **allechant** _. For I assume my place as your learner, thanks for everything you taught. I hope you liked this (hopefully)._


	11. End

Some things are waiting to be ended. When reason is lost and love is gone, and all that is left is pain, things have to be ended.

I know love can never be ended like how people cut their hair. Because like human hair it will still grow. The cycle continues. But I can pretend like it never happened or I can wait for it to fade. The colours—like memories—will fade and probably after that, I will be fine again.

I'll be as good as new.

"Hey, goodbye?"

The message was sent to you.

You wouldn't care, of course. Because my messages wouldn't reach your heart.

I was praying that you would care, Len.

"Alright. Bye."

* * *

 **End of "Miku-drabbles".**


End file.
